Ceaseless criticism of other people does nothing to change them and it harms us. Being unloving to other people is like taking poison and expecting them to die… when it’s you who will be harmed by the outpouring of your unloving thoughts towards them. To stem the tide of negativity towards other people, you need to start one thought at a time.
As you move throughout the day, for every individual you see (yourself or other people) say wordlessly to yourself “I love you as Soul”. Soul Love is neutral and unromantic. You can love someone’s Soul even if you really detest everything about them because their Soul is the “love” part of them. It’s the perfect part that the maker sees, that he knows, that he loves. That’s how you can connect with their worthiness and act as if they’re worthy… and truly mean it
2. If you love the other individual, add to their health by nurturing their bodies with loving touch. 4 hugs a day are the minimum for good health, 8 a day are truly needed, and 12 a day lead to personal empowerment.
To show love to another, work to encourage them to love their own bodies. So often we join other people in the contemporary trend of “woundology”, where we trade accounts about how ugly, bad, or imperfect our bodies are.
3. Mental damage is the greatest damage that we routinely do to each other. We think that by sharing our sorrows that we’re supporting others. The reality is that continually sharing broken heartedness – especially once the painful crisis has passed – only serves to keep our wounds and theirs alive. For what we shower our attention on is what we manifest into our reality. Everybody has made their share of errors… we’re meant to learn from them and progress.
We exhibit the greatest respect to other people when we refuse to keep their pain alive… when we speak of ways that they can solve their troubles and move past their pain. Or when we demonstrate to them the path to their own empowerment or how to achieve their dreams… anything but nursing their pain.
4. No one is perfect, not me, not you, not anybody else. Regardless what you dislike about other people, it’s of vital importance that you value other people – even as they are right now. For by doing so, that’s how we create peace within our own hearts. The fact is that we all are – from the saints to the sinners – a “work in progress”: changing daily and evolving into becoming who we already are.
As Philo the philosopher counsels, “Be thoughtful, for everybody you meet is fighting a hard struggle.” When you can accept other people just as they are right now, this is the ultimate way of respecting the hard fight that they’re fighting.
5. What keeps us firmly stuck with our negative baggage is the fact that we can’t forgive other people for somehow failing us. Sincere, heartfelt forgiveness is the solvent that unsticks our fingers from this baggage, allowing us to drop it. Dropping it is the best thing that we can do for ourselves and other people. Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning what happened or just forgetting about it or not learning from it. All of those are valuable lessons that we spent emotion learning.
6. If there’s one key to showing unconditional love to other people, it’s this. As William Penn said, “any good that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.” Making people pleased, helping them to be happy, and allowing them to be pleased are all ways of showing others unconditional love.